And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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