i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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