my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
