He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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