I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
