On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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