remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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