hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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