I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
