I have demons in me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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