If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
