He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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