capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
