We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
