Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And the cops told us we were all naked.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
