Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
