You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
