yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
