i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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