If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
