is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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