I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She bit a glass in half.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
