To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
