I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
