I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Randomize
