so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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