i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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