everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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