C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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