I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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