K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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