youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
