DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
