what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
