Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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