WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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