Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
