Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
