He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
