I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
