your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
