remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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