goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
