well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
