mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
