chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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