she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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