should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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