There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
