conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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